Lenten reflections - Thief on a cross 

 This is the second of our weekly Lenten reflections run on a Wednesday for five weeks of Lent. 

Today friends, we travel back to 1st century Israel. Your name is Dismas, you are nailed to a cross and you're dying. You've been convicted of robbery and now you are being crucified with 2 others. One of them is Gestas, you've come across him before but often you've worked in separate circles. The other one is Jesus. 

You've not seen him since he was a baby. Not long after Jesus was born, Mary and Joseph were fleeing the country and heading for Egypt to safety as warned by the angels. While making their escape, the holy family came across a band of robbers harassing them and putting them in danger. Dismas was transfixed by the beauty and symbolism of the holy family and protected them, allowing them to make their way to Egypt to safety. 

Like Jesus, you are a Galilean. Possibly a Jew and often roaming from town to town. Partly perhaps searching for a sense of belonging but often more of a case of running from the authorities. Life for you is chaotic, stressful and at times, violent. Living as a vagabond takes its toll on you. So you take what you can from others to sell on to get a few coins to help with surviving out there. You don't really want to steal from people, but need it, so you take it. Living this sort of life is hard to break away from. People don't believe you when you say you want to change. They turn away from you, which makes you angry and then you hit them and steal from them. Then you feel bad all over again. And so it continues. 

After years on the road, you find yourself in Jerusalem. You've been caught again and the Romans have had enough. You are captured and sentenced to death by crucifixion. You feel a sense of dread, yet oddly a sense of relief. You too have had enough and although you are going to die very soon, at least the life you've struggled so much with, will finally stop. Admitting your guilt, momentarily at least takes the weight off your shoulders. 

But now you're on a cross. Nailed, naked and in agony. Every breath takes an enormous amount of effort. To exhale you must push down on your nailed feet and push up on your nailed wrists just to empty some of the air in your lungs. 

Essentially, your body weight is transferred to the diaphragm and chest muscles, locking your lungs in an almost permanent state of inhalation. Along with that you will have numerous injuries which also include both shoulders dislocated, serious blood loss and you've likely been scourged as well so your back will be digging into that tree that you're impaled on. For the things you have done over the years, you are being justly punished. The same is not true of Jesus to the left of you. Jesus has done nothing to deserve this. 

To Jesus's left Gestus is mouthing off, as he so often does. Goading and tormenting the innocent one. 

"Come on Jesus! Save yourself. And while you're at it, save us too!"

Some of the crowd below laugh and jeer back. Jesus doesn't react though. That annoys Gestus and he has another go. 

"Come on Jesus, what's the hold up? If you are God, jump down from that cross. Go on, do it now!" 

You don't know about Jesus, but Gestus is really getting on your nerves. You have to say something. 

"Don't you fear God Gestus? We are being sentenced too. Very soon you will see the face of God. Will you be as impenitent then?" 

Gestus ignores your comments. You however have a different opinion. You get a feeling of regret and remorse. Your life hasn't been what it could have been. And now it's over. 

"Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom." 

Jesus replies: Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise." 

Wait, did Jesus just say that? It's like he's wiped the slate clean, it's like... he's forgiven me. After all I've done, Jesus has saved me from being thrown in hell. 

You really feel like you are forgiven and although you are still dying, for now at least you feel that you have made your peace with God, and that means a lot. 

The weather is changing. It's been really sunny up until now. But even though it is only 12 pm, it has gone quite dark. The sky is turning black and there's an ominous feeling out there. Like something is about to happen. It sends shivers down your spine, which of course really hurts as you are nailed to a cross and any movement at all tears into you. 

For the next three hours you carry on enduring your excruciating death. The darkness stayed throughout those three hours. It was an eerie feeling. It was like the world was feeling a profound and oppressive gloom. A gloom that the entire world was responsible for. It was different to a stormy cloud, and different to a night sky. No clouds, no stars, just darkness. The darkness takes the warmth out of the air and you feel quite cold. The lack of light is part of it, but also the shock of what your body is going through. Your blood is literally running cold. 

Gestas has finally gone quiet. He's still breathing. (Well, as best as you can on a crucifix) But the mocking has used up valuable energy that he needs to endure the pain. Jesus is hanging on but he seems to be flagging more than you two. He's been severely scourged and beaten though, so that would explain why. He doesn't strike you as a weak man, but he isn't as muscular as you and Gestas. He will probably die first. In fact that came at around 3pm.

Jesus cried out the words: "Father, into your hands I commend my spirit". 

And in that moment Jesus died. 

At that exact moment there was an earthquake. The ground shook, rocks split and the temple curtain was torn in two from top to bottom. This was no ordinary curtain. This was 60 feet high, 30 feet wide and 4 inches thick. To tear that in two could only be done by divine intervention. When the dust had settled and everything stopped moving, you realise that the sun is out again. It makes your eyes squint but you get to see the sun one more time before you die. 

Death is not far away. It's late afternoon and the Sabbath will start soon. It was tradition back then that victims of crucifixion would not remain impaled during the Sabbath, therefore death and burial would need to be done before sunset. And so it happened.

Perhaps an hour after Jesus death, four soldiers came and stood below you. They were gathered around your feet with one of them gripping a large blood stained club. You knew what was coming. You shut your eyes and brace yourself to have your legs broken. The crack is loud as is the shrill you let out. And then, in your last breath the pain completely goes. Everywhere. Nothing hurts anymore. You open your eyes and you see Jesus. Not battered and bruised and covered in blood like he was a couple of hours ago. Now he was clean, radiant and smiling. With an outstretched arm he welcomes you to paradise. 

On that first ever good Friday you are canonized by Jesus himself, proving it's never too late to acknowledge God.  St. Dismas is patron saint of prisoners, and the dying. His feast day is on 25th March.

Questions to provoke thought and conversation.

• Imagine you are Dismas - how do you feel seeing Jesus welcoming you to paradise?
• How would you respond to people mocking Jesus?
• What does forgiveness mean for you personally and for the current world we’re living in?